A Guide to the Perfect First Date, According to Our Readers

Discover what wikiHow readers want & look for in a first date

Co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld and Devin McSween

Last Updated: October 8, 2025 Fact Checked

• First Date Ideas
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• What do people want on a first date?
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• How to Act on a First Date
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• Video
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• Expert Q&A

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The perfect first date: everyone wants it, but what is it actually? Is there an ideal place to go or a perfect way to act? If you’re curious how to ace the first date and score a second, we’re here to help. We compiled data from wikiHow quizzes to find out what our readers really consider an ideal first date. In this article, we’ll share those results with you, including the best first date ideas and what someone looks for on the first date. We also spoke with dating and relationship coaches for expert tips on how to act on the first date and make it a successful one.

What is a perfect first date?

Dating and relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld says the best dates are ones that involve movement. Our readers agree, with many citing going for a walk or doing a competitive activity, like bowling, as their ideal first date. Our readers also say the perfect first date is one where their date is easy to talk to.

Steps

Section 1 of 3:

Ideal First Date Ideas

1. 
   1
   Take a walk together for an active date idea. Activities are a great first date option because they’re casual, low-stress, and give you something else to focus on if you’re feeling nervous. Our readers at wikiHow tend to agree! 34% of respondents who took our Book Boyfriend Quiz said their preferred first date is going on a scenic walk and just talking and getting to know one another. Additionally, 19.3% of wikiHow users who took the quiz said they like a competitive first date to get chemistry going, such as bowling or minigolf.

   • Other active date ideas:
     • Going to a farmer’s market
     • Playing tennis or pickleball
     • Hiking
     • Skating
     • Taking a dance class
     • Going for a bike ride
     • Kayaking
     • Going rock climbing
     • Taking a yoga class
     • For even more date ideas, check out our article on the Best First Date Ideas, or read through our forum, “What are some good first date ideas?”
   • “The reason why an activity is a great idea,” explains certified dating coach Alison Wellington, “is because it gives you some downtime to think before you speak.” She says, “Many times, people are nervous on a first date,” and “they don't know what to say.” But, “if you choose an activity that both of you will like, then a major part of the date is the activity.”
   • If you want to go on an active date, certified dating and relationship coach Kimberly Hill recommends choosing an activity that you’re good at. She says taking someone “on a date where you're kind of already good at something” helps you “feel more confident.” This can make you “feel more relaxed and therefore, you can connect better” on the date.

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Mark Rosenfeld is a dating and relationship coach based in Norman Park, Australia. Mark specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships.

   Candice Mostisser is a dating coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC who specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates.

   Alison Wellington is a certified dating coach and founder of Align with Alison, a coaching company that’s dedicated to helping women find the partner they deserve.

   Kimberly Hill is a certified dating and relationship coach. She specializes in helping single and divorced men get unstuck, elevate their dating experiences, and build meaningful connections.

   Maria Avgitidis is a dating coach and CEO of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. She has over 10 years of matchmaking experience.
2. 
   2
   Go to an amusement park for a fun and unique date idea. Choosing a unique activity is a great way to break up the sameness of first dates, which can help you stand out and give you and your date something fun to talk about. Our readers at wikiHow also like unique dates. For example, 35.5% of users who took our Dere Types Quiz said they prefer going on a date at an amusement park for scary rides.

   • Other unique date ideas:
     • Going ax-throwing
     • Going to an escape room
     • Getting your fortunes read
     • Going on a ghost tour
     • Seeing a magic show
     • Seeing a drag show
     • Going on a dessert tour
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3. 
   3
   Watch a movie together for an indoor date idea. An indoor first date is the perfect idea if you want to cultivate a more cozy, intimate vibe, or if the weather simply isn’t pleasant. Plenty of our readers agree. 45.7% of users who took our Disney Boyfriend Quiz said a cozy night in with a good movie and yummy snacks was their perfect date night. For those who took the Dere Types Quiz, a movie date (specifically so they don't have to talk much) was the top choice for 31.9% of respondents.

   • Other indoor date ideas:
     • Doing a wine or beer tasting
     • Visiting a museum or art gallery
     • Seeing a show (music, comedy, play)
     • Playing a board game
     • Doing a puzzle
     • Going to a trivia night
     • Going to an arcade
     • Seeing a sports game
   • Dating coach John Keegan says a movie date is a great idea, especially if you’re trying to save a bit of money.
   • If you want to chat after the date, Hill suggests grabbing dessert or a late-night coffee to talk about the movie.
4. 
   4
   Go stargazing for a cute and romantic date idea. Going on a cute and dreamy first date is the perfect way to get to know each other on a deeper level and see if the romance is there. According to user data from our Zodiac Compatibility Quiz, an evening of stargazing was the most thrilling dream first date for 51% of respondents. 22.8% of users who took our Smile Dating Test said a moonlit sailboat ride with champagne, slow dancing, and rose petals was their dream date. The date doesn’t have to be extravagant to be romantic, as 51.2% of users who took the Dere Types Quiz said they prefer going to the park for a date.

   • Other cute and romantic date ideas:
     • Getting dinner
     • Going on a picnic
     • Walking through a botanical garden
     • Picking out books for one another
     • Going antiquing
     • Watching the sunset or sunrise
     • Building a bonfire
     • Shopping for music records
   • While casual dates might be the general go-to, Mostisser says if you meet somebody organically, like at a bar, and hit it off, “it's okay to have a bit more of a romantic and dedicated date because you've already established that baseline attraction.”
   • If you want to plan a romantic date, relationship coach Sven Loss recommends that you “tailor it to the other person, not to what you think is romantic, but to what they think is romantic.”
5. 
   5
   Cook together for a creative date idea. Creating something together is a great way to bond on your first date and create a fun, positive vibe. Lots of people prefer to forgo the traditional dinner date and make dinner together instead. If neither of you is a great cook, consider taking a cooking class as an alternative.

   • Other creative date ideas:
     • Doing a craft
     • Taking a paint-and-sip class
     • Making pottery
     • Singing karaoke
     • Coloring in a coloring book
     • Taking a floral arrangement class
     • Taking an improv class
     • Making a playlist
   • Relationship expert Elvina Lui, MFT, agrees that creative dates are a “good way to strengthen the relationship.” She says they’re also a great opportunity to “introduce each other to interests that you had from when you were younger,” which can help you learn more about one another.
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Section 2 of 3:

What do people look for on a first date?

1. 
   Our users are looking for someone they’re excited to keep talking to. According to users who took our Love Estimator Quiz, 45% imagined their first date would be a little awkward at first, but they eventually couldn't stop talking to each other. Additionally, 38% of respondents who took our Love Language Quiz said they knew someone was meant to be on a first date if they asked for another round, just so they could spend extra time together.

   • Making a good impression is pretty important, too. Dating coach Maria Avgitidis says to “show up on time, “be present,” and of course, “be yourself.”

Section 3 of 3:

How to Act on a First Date

1. 
   1
   Wear something comfortable that makes you feel good. According to Avgitidis, the first date is about “wear[ing] something that you definitely feel comfortable in” and “that makes you feel good and…look good.” She says you want to “put an effort into the impression you want to give,” but it’s “not the place to wear something you just bought that you're not comfortable in yet.”

   • Wellington adds that “you want to be dressed appropriately for the date.” Whether you’re going mini-golfing or grabbing dinner, she recommends going to the place’s website or social media account to find out what people usually wear.
   • Looking for some first date outfit ideas? Check out our first date outfit suggestions for men and women.
2. 
   2
   Ask your date questions about themselves. To keep your date from becoming an interview, dating coach Lisa Shield says to go deep into one topic. For instance, if you ask your date about where they’re from, you might follow up with questions like “What was it like growing up there?” and “What do you do for fun there?” Avgitidis specifically suggests asking questions about your date’s lifestyle or values, like what they enjoy doing on the weekends.

   • Above all, Avgitidis stresses that you want to let the conversation happen organically. She says, “The whole purpose of the first date is to go on a second date” and “determine if you're having fun,” which happens through good conversation.
   • Dating coach Renee Slansky recommends going on a date where there’s lots of stuff happening around you. She says, “If you put yourself in an environment where there are things happening, you're always going to have a point to talk about.”
   • If you’re feeling nervous about what to talk about, Slansky suggests compiling some questions or prompts and writing them down on your phone. If you’re not sure what to say on the date, simply go to the restroom and look through your prompts.
3. 
   3
   Listen to your date when they talk. “During the conversation, become the listener,” says dating coach Laura Bilotta. While it can be easy to get wrapped up in talking about yourself, she asserts that it’s important to be curious about your date.

   • Remember the things your date tells you, too, as this shows that you’re focused and care about what they say. You might bring up something they mentioned later, or follow up with something they said if you go on a second date.
4. 
   4
   Share things about yourself. Matchmaker and dating coach Judith Gottesman, MSW, says you want to make it a real conversation by talking about yourself, too. When you find things you and your date connect on during your conversation, share your perspective after hearing theirs.

   • Bilotta agrees, saying, “Be open about who you are and how you respond to life experiences.” She says this helps “make your date feel comfortable opening up about themselves, as well.” Plus, “It also allows you two to discover commonalities and similar hobbies or perspectives.”
5. 
   5
   Be polite and respectful. Of course, use your best manners when you’re out on your date. For instance, smile and maintain eye contact with your date. A big one, says dating coach and matchmaker Stefanie Safran, is to stay off your phone. If you have to take a call or answer a text, excuse yourself and come back ready to give your date your full attention and focus.
6. 
   6
   Keep the date light and positive. Dating coach Joshua Pompey agrees that it’s important to go into the date with a fun, easy-going vibe. He says, “The more you show that you're someone [who’s] fun and easy to hang out with and cool to talk to, the better it will be.” He suggests being open-minded and asking fun and unique questions to keep the date positive and exciting.

   • The first date is the perfect time to flirt and test out your chemistry together. Crack jokes, smile and laugh, and give your date a compliment. Aim to break the touch barrier, too, like by brushing their arm while you’re sitting down or touching their hand when they make a joke.
   • Our readers agree that good-natured joking is a great way to flirt. 39.5% of users who took our Biggest Turn on Quiz said they think witty, playful banter is the best way to flirt.
7. 
   7
   End the date on a positive note. If the date went well, end it by letting your date know that you had a great time. If you’re not feeling the person and are ready to wrap up the date, politely tell them that you need to get going and thank them for meeting you. Or, end it early by giving them an excuse, like having plans after the date.

   • If you connected and want to go for a second date, dating coach and matchmaker Louie Felix recommends telling them right then and there that you want to see them again.
   • Send a follow-up text either later that day or the next day if you enjoyed the date. Simply reiterate that you had a good time and suggest an activity for your second date, if you’d like.
   • If you’re not interested in a second date, Avgitidis recommends sending the person a polite text letting them know. She suggests sending something simple like, "I had a good time on our date, and it was nice meeting you. Unfortunately, I don't feel romantic chemistry. I’m wishing you luck on your search!"
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Expert Q&A

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• Question

  How can I make our first date successful?

  

  Katie Stolp
  Master Certified Coach

  Katie Stolp is a Master Certified Coach and the founder of Think Power, based in Austin, Texas. With over 5 years of coaching experience, Katie has helped hundreds of women around the world let go of self-defeating thoughts, own their power, and break through to authentic confidence in their careers and lives. Through speaking functions, online courses, one-on-one and group coaching, Katie’s approach combines a supportive yet direct coaching style and emphasizes research and science-based techniques. Her previous professional experience includes being an Austin CBS affiliate news anchor, corporate leader, and trainer. Katie is certified through The Life Coach School and trained with Erickson Coaching International. She has a bachelor’s degree in Broadcast Journalism from the University of Missouri-Columbia.

  

  Katie Stolp

  Master Certified Coach

  Expert Answer

  A great first date starts with you knowing that you’re already whole, and that your happiness isn’t someone else’s job but your own. When you can take care of your own needs first, dating becomes more about connection instead of completion. Remember that no one can meet your needs better than you.

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