Q&A for How to Act Like You Didn't Fart

Make it into a contest; whoever wins is the farting queen.

Try another method, or come clean and be better prepared next time. Everybody farts!

Why should they? They'd have to be paying pretty close attention in most cases to single you out if you're being vigilant about how you pass gas. Most people will probably willing to forgive and forget, even if you are the prime suspect.

Don't deny it over and over, as doing so makes you seem more obvious. If they are people that are bugging you about it, just shrug and say you think one of them did a fart.

Try not to draw attention to yourself and casually deny it if anyone confronts you and tries to blame you for it. Don't specifically blame anyone else, because then it looks like you're trying to avoid blame.

Tell them that it wasn't you, and if they keep saying that it was you, say your stomach is rumbling from hunger. Either that or fess up and laugh it off.

Just act completely natural, how your face would be if you were sleeping but with your eyes open. Relax all of your facial muscles rather than tensing them in an attempt to pull a straight face. If really necessary, practice in front of a mirror.

When you do fart loudly, social norms are broken, putting you--temporarily--outside the group. Less mature people will pounce at the opportunity to laugh at you. It allows them to single out a common 'enemy', which reinforces their feeling of belonging to a group. Of course, all this is very deep for a simple fart, so the conclusion is: if someone laughs, shrug it off; it will pass as the air clears up.

There really are just two options: either you hold it in until the end of class, or you go to the bathroom. Regardless of whether you have permission, regardless of any consequences, if you really feel like it's coming right now, get to the bathroom.

Just act casually. If you’re in a larger group of people, hold your nose and look around in a disgusted way. It won’t be long until the smell hits them too. Remember, showing signs of panic just gives it away.

Pretend like nothing happened. Even if she knows it was you, it's very unlikely she'd call you out in front of all the other students.

You should say excuse me, but I have to use the bathroom, then run to the bathroom. It happens to everyone at some time, just act normal and others will be obliged to treat it as natural too.

Yes. Because if you're in an elevator and you pass gas, the other guy will know that it was you, because he knows he didn't do it, so who else would there be to fart?

At the most, the person will hear it as a deep scratch. You may save yourself from some embarrassment, but have to explain the noise.